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October 14 2017

laughlikesomethingbroken:

bemusedlybespectacled:

spiritednug:

z-nogyrop:

lovelylovelyartist:

theorynoodle:

mezzodical:

one round/action in D&D is 6 seconds so anything you could accomplish during a vine you could do during your turn

Rogue: “I’m back at it again at Krispy Kreme.”

DM: “Roll an acrobatics check.”

Fighter: I want to see my little boy

DM: roll a perception check

*nat 20*

DM: here he comes

bard: toss me my keys

*rolls a 1*

DM: i thought you said printer

Fairy: I still haven’t found my berries

DM: roll a perception check

*rolls a 9*

Fairy: BUT! *holds up an orange* I found this.

Druid: I am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand.

DM: Roll an intimidation check.

*nat 20*

DM: Poseidon quivers before him!

Druid: Fuck off!

Wizard: I bring helium baloons into the carriage.

DM: Inventor, roll a saving throw for intelligence.

*rolls a 1*

DM: The car’s not built for helium balloons!

Inventor: Ah, we’re flyin’ awee!

sassygaysatan:

thatdiabolicalfeminist:

sassygaysatan:

sure, when my grandfather fought nazis and fascism he was “a hero” and “on the right side of history” but when i do it im “way too sensitive” and “no better than they are”

That’s because when our white grandparents fought Nazis, it was for fear of them taking power away from other white people.

White Europeans and Americans were explicitly fine with genocide and the ideologies that led to it – a great many people, including Churchill, vocally supported most of what the Nazis were doing. Their only fight with Nazis was to maintain sovereignty from takeover.

Today’s Nazi-fighters usually have a problem with white supremacy and the antisemitism and racism etc behind it – which most of our white grandparents didn’t see a problem with and neither do many white people today.

This is why so many people don’t see any reason to stop the Nazis now, or why many others think it’s purely a struggle for Democrats or other neoliberal parties in other countries who might lose political power if they gain traction. Many people don’t see Nazis as a real problem unless they threaten the political power of other white people.

White supremacist organizations and movements have been a life-threatening scourge for people of colour and Jewish people this entire time. It’s really important that we focus on that as the real threat, or we risk having the same myopic perspective as generations past.

This was a great addition to my original post so I’m reblogging it.

October 13 2017

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positive-memes:

I Will Not Be Eaten

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bewareofmpreg:

jojo’s bizarre adventure (1993)

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letsgomindthestore:

suchprettypride:

I think we should make Puritan naming customs cool again, but like, updated to reflect Millenial values. So we can have names like Resistance Jones, Self-Care Williams, and I-Am-Not-Throwing-Away-My-Shot Anderson.

  • I-Will-Face-God-and-Walk-Backwards-Into-Hell Watson
  • Hydrate Mather
  • Healthcare-Is-A-Right-Not-A-Privilege Bradford
  • Body Positivity Watts
  • WTF-the-Fuck Preston
  • Cinnamon Roll Milton
  • Y'all-Need-Jesus Henderson
  • Snape-Was-Not-a-Hero Whitaker
  • Battery Life Wiggins
  • Reblog-If-You-Agree Bolton
  • @Horse_ebooks Humphrey
  • Renewable Moore
  • I-Came-Out-to-Have-a-Good-Time-and-I’m-Honestly-Feeling-So-Attacked-Right-Now Rutherford
  • Representation Hopkins
  • Organic Hurst
  • Money Cat Wallington
  • Fuck-It Wentworth
  • Impeachment Shepard
  • Don’t-Forget-To-Like-And-Subscribe Simpson
  • Consent Pimple
  • I-Bless-the-Rains-Down-in-Africa Woodford
  • Green Hoyle
  • Social Anxiety Travers
  • Kinkshame-Not Bailey

October 12 2017

goddamnshinyrock:

v-diggety:

did U GUYS KNOW, that the way stores get the balloons off of the ceiling is with ANOTHER balloon, w tape on the top??? and they just dont cut the string so it’s like super long and u gotta aim it right n reel it in. i just found that out today when i DID IT and it’s been the best working day of my life i had a blast blowing up balloons and fetching some off the ceiling. i had so much power? and NO ONE ELSE in my department likes that job so now it’s MY job when need be

omg so I work at a museum and one of our buildings has a) very high ceilings and b) a bizarrely sensitive alarm system that will go off if anything touches the ceiling. Because of this, helium balloons are considered public enemy #1 and are strictly forbidden from entering the museum. But just in case an illicit balloon is successfully smuggled in, the museum has acquired a fucking b.b. gun for the express purpose of shooting down rogue balloons.

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defilerwyrm:

unicornempire:

iguanamouth:

imageimageimageimageimageimageimage

I. Love this. 

Love it.

Oh my god

yes.

This is it, I found it, the funniest post on this entire godsforsaken website

jadelyn:

beesmygod:

konguloarkonan:

here’s a thing that i don’t think american kids are told often enough:

STAY AWAY FROM FOR-PROFIT COLLEGES.

ITT tech, virginia colleges, bryant and stratton, the art institutes, university of phoenix, everest, devry, etc - do NOT attend these places. do not give them your money - and it will be a lot of money. They are all, to a one, scams.

For-profit colleges prey on minority, low-income, military, nontraditional, and chronically underemployed students by promising them a quick path to a career. They are lying. They often do not allow the transfer of credits to and from, and many are either unaccredited or accredited by suspect accreditors. They rely on their students to take out massive federal student loan debt. They line their pockets with money from the government and then burden their graduates with tens of thousands of dollars of debt for inadequate education and degrees that aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on.

If you’re a non-traditional student looking for a degree, don’t go to a for-profit. Find a community college in your area instead. most ccs have more flexible class times for especially vocational/technical certifications and quite a few offer online-only or hybrid degrees. Hell, if you’re a non-trad student and you have a GED and some spare cash, try studying for a few months and then taking the SATs/ACT and trying for a four-year straight out (that’s what I did). Or get an AA and then do a four-year. Or look for a technical/adult education program sponsored by a local community college or school district. Just please, please, please, don’t go to a for-profit college. They will ruin your credit rating, your finances, and your job prospects.

this post was probably inspired by it but itt tech is almost certainly going into bankruptcy and closing probably asap which heralds the death knell of other for-profit colleges  since the us government is finally cutting off their financial assistance for students

An increasing number of state universities are offering online or hybrid degree programs these days too.

October 10 2017

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pigeonbits:

Here’s SWEETROCK, the 24 hour comic I drew this year!

October 08 2017

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freegameplanet:

FAITH is an incredibly freaky retro horror adventure in which you play a priest who returns to a home where an exorcism ritual went horribly wrong. A spine-chilling adventure that squeezes a whole lot of terror out of its 8-bit stylings.

Read More & Play The Full Game, Free (Windows)

poriferathief:

thecuckoohaslanded:

ariaxvespid:

thecuckoohaslanded:

thecuckoohaslanded:

thecuckoohaslanded:

thecuckoohaslanded:

thecuckoohaslanded:

AW GREAT now I’m googling a bunch of extinct megafauna like Arctotherium, Argentavis magnificens, and Sarcosuchus imperator

Sarcosuchus imperator: proof that crocodilian evolution DIDN’T FUCK AROUND

Purussaurus: proof that not fucking around is an art form

Argentavis magnificens: the reason sky gods had bird symbols

BEAR VS ELEPHANT:

HIS FACE SAYS IT ALL:

ARCTOTHERIUM ANGUSTIDENS: AN UPSETTING QUANTITY OF BEAR

If I had pictures of size comparisons between an Irish Elk and a human being I’d put those here because ho damn.

The Pleistocene is the reason we have nightmares.

Ancestry.com takes DNA ownership rights from customers and their relatives

tinkchick555:

timemachineyeah:

bisexilicous:

rosemoo:

obiwanishinaabe:

I will take every opportunity to warn people against these genetics testing “services.” They are huge data mines and prospecting firms, and if you are Indigenous, your submission may be their way around tribal moratoriums against these sorts of collections.

Plus, they don’t mean anything as far as Indigenous identity.

Oh wow, read this. Excerpt, emphasis mine:

“Buried in the “Informed Consent” section, which is incorporated into the Terms of Service, Ancestry.com warns customers, “it is possible that information about you or a genetic relative could be revealed, such as that you or a relative are carriers of a particular disease. That information could be used by insurers to deny you insurance coverage, by law enforcement agencies to identify you or your relatives, and in some places, the data could be used by employers to deny employment.

This is a massive red flag. The data “you or a genetic relative” give to AncestryDNA could be used against “you or a genetic relative” by employers, insurers, and law enforcement.

For example, a young woman named Theresa Morelli applied for individual disability insurance, consented to release of her medical records through the Medical Information Bureau (a credit reporting agency for medical history), and was approved for coverage. One month later, Ms. Morelli’s coverage was cancelled and premiums refunded when the insurer learned her father had Huntington’s disease, a genetic illness.

Oh tf wow

Ancestry.com is the woooorst. Don’t use them ever. 

They also are owned by the LDS church, and get all their genealogy information for the genealogy work the members are pressured to do to make sure their extended family (and all of humankind) gets eternal saving ordinances. The church coerces people into providing free labor in genealogy research under the threat of losing your family in eternity if you don’t. They then take that free labor, aggregate it, and sell it for a profit through Ancestry.com. 

So 

like

Ancestry.com exploits the free labor of people to sell it, and also exploits your DNA test results to sell them, so that people can exploit you based on the results of those tests, and they make you pay for the privilege. 

Don’t ever touch that fucking company. 

@takashi0 I hope you don’t mind that I’ve commented on this, but I’ve literally been sitting here for a while trying to decide whether or not I should say something but I feel wrong not saying something.

What was said right above me is pretty misconstrued and I just thought it should be clarified.

First and foremost - THE LDS CHURCH DOESNT OWN ANCESTRY.COM. Yeah a lot of members use it because it’s well known. But it’s a privately owned company based in Lehi, Utah. Like this isn’t true in the least. The church isn’t out here doing that. It gets its money through tithing. The church does own FamilySearch. They’re not the same thing AT ALL.

Secondly - you’re twisting the truth on how the church views genealogy. You’re right that family history is important but It’s not “if YOU don’t do this then your family is ETERNALLY DAMNED!!!” We believe in doing ordinances for the dead, and yeah we tend to like people to do their own families, but it’s kind of a “it’s your choice to do it” thing. And we tend to see it as a family responsibility. But we don’t view it like that. People do the genealogy for others a lot. We can choose to do things. We don’t go “yeah if you don’t do it, it’s your fault that your family is damned.” Cause 1. The church’s belief is that everyone is accountable for their own self. My sins wouldn’t reflect on anyone else being punished for it. We don’t believe in that. And 2. Good freaking luck getting “damned” anyways. It’s actually super crazy hard to do in LDS doctrine. Like. Super hard.

We get callings in church that we are asked to do. You are right. We don’t get paid for them. But!! We also are allowed to say we don’t want to do them. LDS isn’t going around going “YOULL GO TO HELL IF YOU DONT DO XYZ!!” We also tend to believe that through doing callings that we will somehow grow as a person or help others and be blessed and that as Christ gave service to others so should we.

We tend to think in the more positive sense with most things. Not the YOULL BE PUNISHED!!!!!!1!!! Sense. Does that sadly sometimes happen with members? Yeah. Unfortunately like all groups or churches or ideologies or anything where there are lots of people - you get people who don’t understand or who aren’t the nicest people. But on the whole and most importantly on the doctrine side - this isn’t how it goes.

I can see how this might be misconstrued and I get that people sometimes don’t like LDS people or misunderstand. It happens. I also understand that we all have a harder time understanding things that are part of religions we ourselves are not a part of. I grew up in a catholic area and went to mass with my friends sometimes and I still don’t always understand things. I hope we can all get along though!

Important corrections regarding genealogy company ownership, and Mormon (aka LDS) Doctrine

October 07 2017

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yesterdaysprint:

yesterdaysprint:

The Plain Speaker, Hazleton, Pennsylvania, November 6, 1936

The Courier-Gazette, McKinney, Texas, August 22, 1955

whencartoonsruletheworld:

thedisreputabledog:

inthebackoftheimpala:

aphmarvel:

adamsgirl42:

charminglyantiquated:

charminglyantiquated:

there’s dozens of stories about some kid from our world falling into a different, magical one,  being the chosen one or the close companion of the chosen one and saving the world, and then going home where they’re delighted to see their family again and have a new appreciation of their own life. but what about someone who didn’t miss it? what if you save the world and you’re given your medal and stripped of the magic you learned and put back in a world you never missed? and you’re furious.

maybe you gave up a few years of your life. you have callouses and muscles and a few scars and maybe a missing eye or something. you definitely have some blood on your hands. you might have PTSD you can’t talk to anyone about. and suddenly you’re fifteen again, in a body that’s too soft and too short and too complete. you’re always cold because there’s no magic burning in your veins anymore, and even as you grow up the feeling of not fitting doesn’t go away because when you look in the mirror at eighteen you look all wrong: this is not what youre supposed to look like at eighteen. the sky clouds and you rub at the phantom ache of injuries this body never received. you wake up screaming sometimes remembering the sorcerer who burnt your hand to ashes, or the final battle you almost didn’t make it through, or the moment you felt the magic in you go out.

but here’s the thing: they took you and made you into a weapon that was determined enough and powerful enough to save a whole world. they can put you back where they found you but they can’t undo everything. and there’s this, too: the place between worlds clings to you. you can’t tease fire out of the air but you can feel the pull of the doorways all the time, although none of them so far go to your world.

but you try to make it work for a decade, anyway. you’re dutiful. but one night you leave work late and for the thousandth time you catch yourself searching the sky for firebirds. and you break. of the three portals within five hundred miles, one is a howling, frozen wasteland and one is a deep violet void, but one opens into a misty forest that you step into and don’t look back. it’s not your world, but if you keep going long enough, you’ll get there.

(and maybe much, much later, hundreds of worlds later, you climb through a window, or a door of woven branches int he middle a field, or push aside a curtain, and as you set foot on new land you feel the fire in your veins and sparks at your fingertips and finally, finally, you’re home)

this is going around again and I want to add that if you want to think about sad, angry ex-heroes trying and failing to live normal lives, nothing left to say by imagine dragons is a good song to do that to.

I really want to write a novel about thus.

Imagine the families of the people that came back.  Imagine seeing your child, kissing them goodnight one night and shutting their bedroom door, or seeing them off to school.  When you see them again they’re angry (but they won’t say at what), and a noise that sounds like an arrow whistling through the air makes them turn.  For a moment you see their eyes darken.  

They left for school with hunched shoulders, slouching over their work; but they come back and hold themselves tall, and even though they’re a teenager you can’t help but think that no fifteen year old should have that kind of posture, that kind of fire that flashes out sometimes.  No fifteen year old or sixteen year old should have muscle memory that falters, suddenly, when it realizes it can’t keep up with this body

One lost an eye, in their world (not this empty shell of a world that they returned to) and even though they know perfectly well that their left eye here sees just as well as the right one, they find themself spinning to look at people when they talk to them.  Sudden noises make them whirl.  Reigning in their intense feeling of self preservation that’s been honed to make them a hero is too hard to do here, where the skidding of tires is frequent.  Heroes with missing arms have to explain to their siblings and friends why they are left handed now.  

“Every Heart A Doorway” by Seanan McGuire is pretty much what you’re looking for OP

There’s also “This Is Not a Wardrobe Door” by A. Merc Rustad: text here and full-cast audio here.

Yeah this is pretty much the premise of Seanan McGuire’s Wayward Children series

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ithelpstodream:

Meet 63-year-old Lyn Slater, who has, until recently, been an ordinary professor at Fordham University. One day she went to meet a friend for lunch outside the Lincoln Center during New York Fashion Week. Foreign journalists suddenly surrounded her, mistaking her for a fashion icon and attracting spectatorsIt was a defining moment that turned Lyn into an ‘Accidental Icon’. Her blog of the same name, inspired by the experience, soon began making international waves. She is now a public voice against ageism in the fashion industry and the world.

“Fashion and my style help me struggle against that invisibility that comes with age.“

She was once asked about the old notion of ‘dressing for one’s age,’ and her response was clear:

“We use language to control people’s behavior. This phrase is a way of putting older women in their place. I’m certain that if you feel comfortable in your own clothes, it’s completely irrelevant how old you are.”

October 05 2017

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